“What is the purpose of learning this stuff?!” On a fall day in 1995 at St. Mary’s High School, undoubtedly out of my frustration with the subject, I asked this question of my Calculus teacher. Mrs. Suzanne Rouse, a very kind and patient lady who taught most of the advanced math courses at the school, answered my question, from what I remember, with great ease. “Its purpose is to help you learn to question and think, Rob”, she stated in a calm, matter-of-fact manner. I guess at the time, her answer didn’t give me much comfort, as the subject’s purpose seemed only to drive me crazy. However, over the years I’ve never forgotten her quick and simple response.
It’s funny what we remember from our youth. Some things, like good times with family and friends or school accomplishments or learning to drive, are easy to remember. Why I remember this short question and answer interaction with Mrs. Rouse I don’t know for sure. Reflecting on it, I now believe it’s because I didn’t “question and think” about much of anything back then.
I lived for myself 100% of the time. My dreams were to make a lot of money, drive a Porsche, and be recognized as an important person. These were easy dreams for me to claim because I was comfortably secular. I didn’t know it at the time and sure wouldn’t admit to it, but I was agnostic in my views of life and God. I was so at home with this view of my life and dreams, that I never gave a second to “question and think” about them. (In fact, at that time, you would’ve lost me in a conversation with the words ‘secular and agnostic and worldview’).
No longer in a position to question and think about integration or antiderivatives (that hurt my brain a bit just to recollect those terms), the past decade has brought an even bigger and more important problem to address – the meaning and purpose of my life. I realized that after all those years of school, for the most fundamental principle of my life, its meaning and purpose, I had no definitive answer to give. I had never really asked the question, and thus, never thought or gave an answer. So how did I get so ‘comfortably secular’ (I really think Pink Floyd should change the name of “Comfortably Numb” to this, BTW)?
In school, science classes taught the Big Bang theory and Evolution had proven the universe and life happened virtually spontaneously. Movies and shows said life was about making oneself happy. Between medical school and recreational activities, I was too busy to think about “deep” topics like the meaning of my life; besides, that’s what crazy people talked about! (Disclaimer: I’m certain I spoke about life’s meaning during times of intoxication while in school with other intoxicated fools, but that doesn’t count) My agnostic and secular life was, in a sense, put in a Happy Meal as I went through the drive-thru of my life. Never questioning or thinking about its understandings or implications, I bought into its dogma and…Presto!
Dogma is defined by Cambridge as “a fixed belief or set of beliefs that people are expected to accept without any doubts.” I used to think religions were dogmatic, and truth was in the sciences. Why did I believe that? Simple, I didn’t follow my high school Calculus teacher’s advice! I had doubts, about religion as well as science. What I found out in my quest to answer the questions my doubts birthed was that dogma is ubiquitous throughout both the ideals and conclusions of the sciences (If you don’t believe me, then just read Richard Dawkins’ “The God Delusion”). Religion can’t 100% prove the existence of God, and sciences can’t 100% disprove the existence of God. Once I questioned and thought and studied about this, Faith found me. I’ve come to conclude that meaning and purpose is most fully found and lived for God through Jesus Christ. The dogma that my life centered upon, has finally been replaced with truth and integrity.
So again, why have I remembered the words of Mrs. Rouse all these years? Maybe it’s so I might pass them along to others, that they may “question and think” as well.
“All the treasures of wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ” Col 2:3.
Dear Rob, i love your posts. It is obvious they come straight from your heart. You share such profound wisdom, your reasoning, and the well thought out conclusions. You have shared your experiences on your Life’s journey so honestly. Your ever-deepening faith is inspiring and truly a wonder to behold. I am so proud of you…for all you have accomplished, your dedication to your healing of patients…but most importantly, to your constant quest to become a Christian follower who is sharing the truth, as you see it, and encouraging others to have a closer walk with Jesus each day. May God bless you and yours always, in all ways. Love and prayers, g
Thx so much. There’s so many people who try to live without God, just like I did for many years. Hopefully each of our testimonies help lead others to Him! Merry Christmas!
There is nothing like getting older to reflect on our life and it’s purpose,may I suggest reading Rick warrens book, the purpose driven life. Your article is well thought out and written
It’s funny how getting older makes us begin to see what’s important, what’s true, and how God directs it all! Don’t tell y’all enough, but am thankful for y’all! Merry Christmas!