Christian, Are You Missing Something?

Excluding 6-7 years during my time at WVU studying (ok, and occasionally partying), I’ve always attended a Christian church. I was an active participant during junior high and high school ministries, and was even baptized during junior high. Upon getting married, I started attending church again on a regular basis. Even though there was a great number of caring people and teachers throughout those years, I always felt there was something missing and unsettling. Back then, I didn’t know what it was, but I was slowly becoming frustrated with both myself and the Christian faith.

Earlier in my life, church and faith was really no more than my “religion”, a way for me to better understand good from bad, and right from wrong. It rarely, if ever, effected my daily routine of ‘real life’. The real role of church was the opportunity to “do good” so I could one day get to Heaven. After all, I was going to die one day and I didn’t want to spend my eternity in the dark and fiery pit with the devil. For me, being a Christian was equivalent to a free self-improvement class so I could “be good” and avoid hell. Simple.

However, this simplicity turned into great frustration. Why? Because I suddenly realized the ugly truth of the matter: I was not “good”, and I never was. The self-improvement I wanted from church attendance and occasional Bible reading was not helping me be better. A deeper sense of peace and joy was not being cultivated by my church-going either. In fact, my wife frustrated me and my marriage was not in a healthy place. My kids frustrated me most of the time. My work gave me no satisfaction. How was this possible? Wasn’t being involved in church going to improve me and fulfill my life and its purpose? Using the restoration of an old home for an analogy, I didn’t just need a coat of paint, I needed a total gutting! What I needed was transformation. But who or what could transform me?

The verb “to know” has a couple definitions in Oxford: (1) ‘to be aware of through observation, inquiry, or information’, and (2) ‘to have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with’. For years, I knew about God, but I didn’t know God. I was at church and serving and “being good”, but I didn’t really know God. How in the world was that possible? Simple, because I was so focused on me (myself, and I), how could a personal relationship develop? But this even brought a bigger question: How could I have a relationship with the God of the universe? Only one way: Jesus Christ. The incarnate Son of God, who lived the only “good” life yet was killed by crucification, and by doing so paid for all transgressions; He was then resurrected to eternal life so that, through faith in Him, relationship with God is possible. Like the blind man in John 9, I finally began to see!

Friend, I write this not to say I’m “good” now and have it all together. On the contrary, I fail over and over and over again. In fact, today was rough. But I write this to encourage anyone who has struggled with their faith. Really knowing God has led to peace, real peace, the peace described by Paul that “surpasses all human understanding”. And it’s only there because of the relationship offered by His grace. He offers this to us all. All we have to do is call to Him.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer 29:13 (ESV)