It was simple, really. I believed a person did not need faith (or religion, as I called it then) in order to live a successful, ethical, and fulfilling life. During my years in college and medical school, the existence, or non-existence, of God didn’t seem to effect my daily life at all. Furthermore, religion didn’t provide any answers to questions that my courses in Biology, Humanities, or Sociology couldn’t. For me, I rejected, or rather ignored faith, because I believed intellectually it wasn’t needed. So if you would’ve asked me 20 years ago why I didn’t know or care if God existed, I would’ve told you simply, my studies in sciences and humanities/sociology sufficiently answered the important questions for life. However, now my tune has done a 180; I believe in God, His eternal existence, and the saving love of His son, Jesus Christ. So what happened? Again, it really was simple.
Let’s start with the clear understanding that 20 years ago I didn’t want God to exist. I liked to do what I wanted to do and sure didn’t want God telling me how I should be behaving (“Drunkenness is wrong? Only on the night before a test!”). This is called bias. Bias is defined by Merriam-Webster as “an inclination of temperament or outlook”, and it often plays a major role when we answer important questions, and few questions are more important that “Does God exist?” As Blaise Pascal said, “People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of proof, but on the basis of what they find attractive.” So this is what I did: I stopped asking questions. When a professor would give seemingly reasonable answers to questions that showed God didn’t exist or wasn’t needed, I would nod and agree (I may have even given an “Amen!”). Instead of being thoughtful and continuing on the question and answer dialogue, I stopped questioning once the answer I was looking for was found. Not real academic at all, but I was happy, right?Fast forward a few years and I’m married to a beautiful, sweet woman, have a couple awesome kids, started my career, and bought a great home and my dream car; in short, the American Dream was in my lap. Seemingly, I had obtained the successful, ethical, and fulfilled life I always wanted. However, there was a problem; I really wasn’t happy at all. None of this brought me lasting peace or happiness or a real sense of purpose. In fact I probably was depressed. Regardless, it led me to ask some basic questions about the answers I had been given or formulated about the existence and/or need for God. This led to more and deeper lines of questioning, which brought realization that my previous answers were formed on many assumptions and with many breaks in logical reasoning. The more I questioned, the more I found the need for God, and in doing so, I also found happiness, peace, and purpose.
I’m not writing this to persuade you regarding the existence of God. I hope my story will get you to look at your beliefs, question them, and see if they “hold water”. Never stop questioning your beliefs; be like Socrates in this way. 20 years ago I believed I had adequate answers to life without God, but when I really began to question and think, I found those answers were lacking, and it changed my life. By releasing our biases and assumptions, we can find the truth, and as a Jesus said “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matt 7:7-8).