Friend, You gave not Everything, but the Most Important

Recently, the father of one of my very best friends passed away. I heard about it early in the morning while I was away on a vacation. Literally I was surrounded by the beauty of God’s Creation, and seeing the text telling me of this, the proverbial “punch to the gut” feeling overwhelmed me. I didn’t want to call because I knew the immediate family was mourning his sudden passing that morning, and a text from me would be impersonal (to say the least). Plus, I had no words. No matter how “natural” death is, all people, including atheists/naturalists, feel the pain it unleashes. I sat there for hours thinking about them, and my friend’s wife texted Dana to see if I’d spoken to my friend because she said he’d like to hear from me. I immediately called and could hear disbelief and pain in his voice, but feelings of guilt even more.

Psychologists say many people struggle with guilt following the death of a loved one. Other than my two grandfathers who were older, I’ve not lost any members of my immediate family or my close circle of friends, so I am not able to personally and fully understand the emotions during these times. You might say, like C. S. Lewis was before he had to deal with the death of his loved ones, I’m at the “Problem of Pain”, rather than the “Grief Observed” phase. My friend really felt like he could’ve and should’ve done more to help his dad and thus, his dad would still be alive today. On the phone I just spoke that my friend did all he could’ve, that his dad loved him and was proud of him, and that my friend was a good son to his family. But as I’ve thought about my friend and his family over the course of the past couple of weeks, I’ve realized something more important.

Could my friend have done more to help prevent his father’s death? Did he do everything? Maybe. Maybe not. The reality is a truth we often don’t believe: we are not in control of much of anything in this life. What is much more important is that my friend encouraged and led his dad to the greatest place of all: Salvation. His dad came to the “knowledge of the truth: that there is one God and one mediator between God and man, the man Jesus Christ” (1 Tim 2:4-5). My friend baptized his father, and hence became brothers in Eternity. Amen!

I’m very proud of my friend. He’s been doing much good with his life and testimony. None of us do “everything” for everyone; all we can do is our best with those around us. Do we always do it? No, because we are all fallible people; none of us are perfect. But my friend’s circumstances show us all that more than “everything”, there is the greater and most important thing of leading another soul to Salvation. Thank you for your example, my friend. Be encouraged!

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in Me has eternal life” (John 6:47).