”Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara….I went away full but the Lord brought me back empty…the Lord has humiliated me…” Ruth 1:20-21.
One thing I love about the Bible is how easy it can be to relate to certain people in its stories. However, I never thought I’d make a connection to a middle aged Jewish widow named Naomi, but that’s exactly where life surprisingly led me this past year.
Many factors had come together, by the fault of no one in particular, and caused my medical practice to struggle. Seemingly overnight, some unexpected events happened at work causing my finances to completely fall apart. I was frustrated. I felt helpless. I didn’t know what to do. I, like Naomi, became very bitter. But really, at the core, I was humiliated.
Humiliate: “ to reduce someone to a lower position in one’s own eyes or others’ eyes; to make them ashamed or embarrassed (Merriam-Webster); to make someone feel ashamed or lose respect for themself” (Cambridge).
I’ve been reluctant to let people know much of this, and really only because of this one reason: I was humiliated. I’m sure many of you’ve felt this way before, too. I’ve really struggled with it, I suppose, because of my deep down pride. I didn’t tell my family. I didn’t tell my friends. Why? Because I’m not supposed to fail or be helpless. Well, I’ve been telling people now because I’ve realized it’s a part of my story and testimony. It’s only by God and His grace that I made it through this time. He humbled me. I needed humbled. He made me check my identity. I stumbled off course and allowed success to be my god. Through this, I’ve learned (again!) that trusting Him and His plan is far better than trusting solely in my own. So, I’m extremely grateful this Holiday Season that He humiliated me, and in doing so, drew me back to Him and His grace and peace. Thank you, Father God! Amen!
“Look, I am about to do something new;
even now it is coming. Do you not see it?
Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert”, Isa 43:19 (HCSB).
